


My Big Fat Muggle Christmas

by ABlazingPhoenix



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-20 16:19:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13150389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABlazingPhoenix/pseuds/ABlazingPhoenix
Summary: My Big Fat Muggle Christmas- Draco having a big ole traditional muggle Christmas with Hermione’s parents. Three things to include: Mistletoe, Crowded House, Traditions.





	My Big Fat Muggle Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> #19 is the prompt I was given for the secret santa prompt. It was a chance to write a fluffy little fic that gave some insight into Hermione's traditional family Christmas.

My Big Fat Muggle Christmas- Draco having a big ole traditional muggle Christmas with Hermione’s parents. Three things to include: Mistletoe, Crowded House, Traditions.

 

Draco squinted at the intricate family tree that his girlfriend had given him two days before. He ran his hand over each of the names and tried to remember exactly how they traced back to her. He looked up through his blond fringe and saw they were now driving into a cheerfully extraordinaire residential area. This was not his first time in a car, but it was still a strange experience for him to see all the mundane muggle houses truly decking their halls with lights and wreaths.

“Does your _entire_ family normally go to your parents’ for Christmas?” his uneasiness was well masked, but still detectable.

Hermione bit her bottom lip, trying to hide a bubble of laughter threatening to spill out. She straightened the wheel of her car as she continued down the decorated street.

“No, not usually. My family is very…” She paused, trying to think of right wording. “They’re _excited._ ” She settled on that word. “This is the first time I’ve brought anyone home for Christmas.”

This last tidbit was something she had been keeping to herself. Although this was not _their_ first Christmas together, she finally thought they were in a place where she could introduce him to her family. Her parents felt that this meant a celebration of the highest caliber.

Draco smiled at her, the adoration in his eyes causing them to shine. He had been secretly pleased that she had asked him to go home with her for Christmas. His girlfriend seemed nervous, and was bouncing in her seat while subconsciously humming to _Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer_ which was currently gracing the radio.

“I’ll be on my best behavior,” Draco whispered softly, as he reached over and placed a reassuring hand on her thigh.

Hermione glanced over at him, and returned his warm smile. This was just as big of a deal for him as it was for her. His first muggle Christmas, and with her entire family. Never did she consider her parents would’ve concocted this large of a get together.

“I know you will,” the brunette smirked over at him. “Do you have the tree figured out?”

Groaning, the Slytherin looked down at the parchment in his lap. Names danced in front of him with Hermione as the tree trunk and the multitude of branches indicating how all the people he was about to meet were related to her. There was going to be thirty-four relatives that he would have to remember.

“Grandma Doreen likes to sing loudly, Julia and Julie look very similar even though they are not siblings, and Great Uncle Henry enjoys his nap in the corner every year.” He screwed his eyes shut trying to recall any more information she had provided him.

“Draco, you don’t need to remember everything.” She giggled at the concentration on his face. “Besides, they are all going to want to know about _you_.”

They rounded the last corner to get to her parents’ home. She glanced over to the passenger seat and looked him up and down appreciatively. Draco was dressed pressed slacks, a green button up long sleeve shirt, and a tie with a Christmas tree that lit up with miniature lights when he pushed a button. It was a small gift from her, which he found it pleasantly entertaining.

He was pressing the button and smirking down at the little glowing bulbs when they pulled up. It was hard to see the house with the rather large number of cars that were currently lining the drive and street. Hermione groaned.

“Mum said that _we_ were going to be the first ones here.”

Draco noted the distress, and vowed to make it better. He reached into the backseat and pulled out a gift box, nicely wrapped and topped with a purple bow. It was the exact color of the dress she was wearing, and the Gryffindor had a feeling he purposely charmed it that color.

“Ah, ah, ah.” He tsked playfully when she took it from him with the intent of opening it. “You have to open it in front of everyone. I refuse to be considered a rubbish boyfriend just because _someone_ ,” the blond reached over and stroked her cheek gently, “can’t wait a couple of hours to open gifts with everyone else.”

Hermione beamed at him as a light flush crept across her face.  She took the hand that was on her face and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She handed him back the gift as he produced a few others from the backseat.

“Trying to impress, are we?” She raised an eyebrow at him as they both exited the car. He simply shrugged in response and followed her to the front door.

When they entered her parent’s home they were greeted with a wall of sound. It felt almost impossible to hear over the constant chatter mixed in with the Christmas music that was playing in the background. At what felt like the drop of a hat, the entire room fell silent.

“Oh, Hermione!” Her mother Jean rushed over to her and hugged her tightly, before moving onto to Draco and hugging him.

“Hi, Mum, I missed you, too.” Hermione smiled in amusement at the way her mum was acting. She turned to the young man standing next to her.

“I want to introduce you to my boyfriend, _Draco Malfoy_.” Her words were formal, but there seemed to be an inside joke between the couple as they immediately began to snicker to one another.

Jean beamed at them both, as Hermione’s father, Gerard, made his way over. Draco made to take the older gentleman’s hand in a handshake that was firm but fair.

“Cleans up pretty well, doesn’t he, Jean?”

Hermione’s mum just laughed as she led the newcomers into the living room. Draco placed the gifts he had in his arms under the currently filled out tree, and spent the next hour greeting all his girlfriend’s family. He felt only slightly nervous when Hermione wandered off to talk to one of her grandmothers. He thought it was her paternal grandma, although he wasn’t completely sure.

Eventually everyone had settled down from all the excitement of the special guest, and they were carrying on with the day. Soon, Hermione’s older cousin, Martin made his way over. He had a cracker in each hand. One was wrapped in red paper with reindeer on it, and the other was green with small Christmas trees.

“Christmas crackers?” Martin offered, as he held the green one out for Draco.

The wizard promptly took his half of the paper roll and pulled. There was a small pop, like the sound of bubble wrap popping. The sound did not compare to the atrocious boom that the wizard crackers had. Inside was a plastic kazoo, a piece of thin crumpled paper, and a small paper with writing on it.

Draco picked up the thin orange paper and unfolded it to reveal a paper crown. Hermione reached over and placed the hat on his head, letting out a hearty laugh that gave him butterflies. He lightly fingered the simple kazoo and blew a few notes into it before looking over at the other piece of paper. He silently read it to himself.

_What did the big candle say to the little candle?_

_I’m going out tonight._

Draco found himself nearly snorting in laughter, but was caught off guard when another pop sounded next to him. Glancing over he noted that Hermione had seized her own green paper crown and placed it on her wild curls. Clutched in her hand was a small bag of marbles.

“I always get marbles,” the brunette whined to him, but a ghost of a smile graced her face. Leaning closer to him, she began to whisper in his ear. “I know these aren’t nearly as elaborate as wizard crackers, but they are a fun tradition.”

He was just about to reply, when the mood in the room drastically changed. It seemed to almost happen in time to the music. Draco looked around and noted one of Hermione’s more elderly relations was currently sauntering to him in sway with music.

“ _Santa, baby…”_ She began in crackly voice. She moved closer to him, draping her boney frame along the couch.

Draco’s molten grey eyes grew wide in horror. Next to him, Hermione was trying her best to not laugh. The rest of the family was slowly returning to their conversations, as this was a yearly occurrence with Great Aunty Doris. She was now curled up into Draco’s side and looking up into his eyes.

_“Think of all the fun I’ve missed, think of all the fellas I haven’t kissed…”_ Eartha Kitt’s voice was drowned out as Aunty Doris tried hard to hit the softer notes.

Looking to his girlfriend for help, he noticed the tears of laughter threatening to fall from her chocolate eyes. She eventually just shrugged and mouthed the word ‘senile’ to him. After that, he sucked it up and let the older woman finish her song.

Once the music transitioned into a chorus of Jingle Bells, Doris seemed to come to her senses and patted Draco on the hand and then cupped Hermione’s cheek before wandering off into the kitchen.

Everyone enjoyed a large meal together, although Draco couldn’t figure out how so many people could force themselves into one room together without the help of magic. His mind began to wonder if Hermione had anything to do with why it seemed roomier.

Clearing his throat, Draco spoke quietly with Gerard before he excused himself before returning with a rather large decanter of what Hermione had the suspicions contained Firewhisky. Shaking her head, since she knew wizard whiskey had a much higher proof of the simple Irish whiskey her father usually sipped on.

“Good evening, everyone! I want to thank you all so much for allowing me to join in with the festivities this evening. If Hermione hasn’t told you, I’m a bit of a magician of sorts.” His grey eyes sparkled with laughter as everyone looked at him skeptically, as his girlfriend let out a low groan.

He spent the next few minutes filling a glass for everyone, he was lucky they were all over eighteen. After they all had their drinks, he began to speak again.

“Okay, so I will be needing your help to ensure this magic _trick_ works. On the count of three, we are all going to shout our favorite colour and then take a drink. You must take a drink for this to work.”

Everyone looked at him, half amused, half with doubt.

“One… two… three…”

“Orange!”

“Black!”

“Aqua!”

“Mauve!”

Every color he could have thought of was shouted, as Draco boomed out  “Green!” Looking around, it seemed that nothing had happened. Many eyebrows were raised but being the polite muggles that they were, no one commented on it.

Soon everyone was feeling warm and fuzzy. Great Uncle Henry was curled up in the arm chair he loved in the corner. Everyone else was getting ready for their second favorite part of the holiday.

“Game Time!” Jean said excitedly as they got situated in the parlor. She pulled out a worn old game box; Pictionary.

Draco eyed Hermione, unsure of what he should do. She leaned over and whispered in his ear the general rules of the game. They would be in teams, and one person would draw a picture of a word and then the team needed to guess it before time runs out. It seemed simple enough.

One hour later Draco’s team was losing. Consisting of himself, Hermione, cousin Julia, and Grandma Doris, they were about four points down, and were needing a comeback. It was Draco’s turn to draw and he pulled the card out.

_Cassette Tape_

_“What in the blazes…?”_ He stared at the word for several seconds, blinking rapidly as he tried to conjure an idea of what exactly he should be drawing.

“Uh… Right. So.”

He began to draw what he hoped resembled the gift wrap tape that Hermione had been complaining about while they had been wrapping presents. It wasn’t the best, but it was alright. But what in Salazar’s sweet name was a cassette?

“Tape!”

“Masking Tape!”

“Gimp Mask!”

Draco hesitated, as they didn’t seem to be anywhere close to what he wanted, and time was running out. He felt sweat beading along the back of his neck, and _Malfoys_ do NOT sweat. Quickly he began to sketch a stool, and an arrow pointing down on the seat of the stool.

“Seat taping!”

“Taped to the edge of your seat!”

The timer ran out and they didn’t get the points they needed. Hermione snatched the card from her boyfriend and silently read what it was he was attempting to relay to them. She shook her head ever so slightly and he was sure she was laughing at him.

“Come on…” She took his hand and lead him up the stairs to what he could only assume was her childhood bedroom. He was looking about when she came over and placed something in his hand. It was a hard piece of plastic with two holes with teeth poking out on the circles. There seemed to be a ribbon wound about it.

“You were never going to be able to draw it. They are going out of style.” She smiled up at him as he examined the object. “It has music on it, and you put it in a Walkman and listen to it through headphones. This one is The Beatles. An older, but excellent band.”

Draco was still surprised that this was the object he should have replicated on the drawing board. He smiled at his girlfriend. He stopped thinking about where he was and focused on her for a moment.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Hermione’s face went pink as she looked down. She never got used to him saying such sweet things to her, but she was slowly accepting his view of her. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

“Thank you for bringing me. I never knew I could have so much fun with muggles.” He reached down and tipped her chin up, so she was looking up at him. He leaned down to kiss her, but she stopped him.

“We can’t kiss on Christmas unless there is mistletoe.” She scolded him lightheartedly.

As if by magic, there was suddenly a lovely bunch of the green decoration right above them. Draco smirked as he saw it, making Hermione blush as he pulled her into a deep and sensual kiss. Losing all track of time, they were startled apart but a sharp knock at the door.

“Hermione, erm, Aunt Jean sent me to get you. She said it’s time to open gifts.”

“O-okay, Julie. I’ll be right there.”

“She said to bring your boyfriend, too. Something about not allowing boys in your room no matter how old you are…” There was a muffled laugh as footsteps faded away from them.

Hermione’s face was a brighter pink as she looked at Draco. His face was very smug as he looked at her.

“Breaking the rules for me, are you, Granger?”

“You can be such an arse.” Hermione giggled as she rolled her eyes. “Come on, we shouldn’t keep everyone waiting.”

They rejoined everyone in the parlor, all squeezing into the available seating. Julia and Julie were wearing elf ears on their heads, and passing out the presents. Mostly they were all getting very practical gifts. A toaster here, a day planner there.

Hermione was very surprised to find that Draco had gotten a present for every one of the relations that were currently in her childhood home. What was even more surprising is that it seemed he was in fact able to pull of his _magic trick_ from earlier, as everyone’s own cashmere sweater was in the color they have shouted out, including her own in a lovely mauve color. Although, she did seem to be the only one to notice since everyone was tipsy.  

It was getting closer to the end of the night and slowly family members were making their way to their own homes. They all told Hermione what a delight they thought her boyfriend was, and how she should hold onto him. Hermione was secretly pleased that everyone thought so highly of him, even if he was a little off.

When at last it was just the four of them, her parents took a seat, while looking over at the tree.

“Hermione?”

“Hmm?” She answered from across the room.

“I think I see another gift in the tree.” Her father told her, “Will you check and see who it’s for?”

She walked over and found a small box that was wrapped in snowman paper with a tiny red bow on top.  She saw the tag on it was to her, but it didn’t say from whom. Raising an eyebrow, she opened the box.

Inside was a small heart shaped locket. When she opened it up, one side had a picture of Hermione’s parents. They were close together and laughing at something to their left. The other side had a picture of Draco, his face red, but a pleased smile was on his face. When she looked closer at it, she noticed that each picture was taken from the same shot.

This meant that Draco and her parents had met before, and she was a bit startled at why this was the first time she was aware of it. She looked up, searching the quiet room for her boyfriend. He was leaning against the far wall, chewing on his lip.

“That’s only half of the gift, you know.” He smirked as he walked towards her.

“I contacted your parents about a month ago, and asked to take them to dinner. You see, I had a very important question to ask.”

He was right next to her and he dropped down on his knees next to hers. She was watching him carefully, almost not believing a word he said. Tears were threatening to fall, and she refused to let that happen.

“I wanted to know if they wouldn’t mind me coming to other family get togethers in the future. I told them that I had an uncanny feeling that I would be joining in a lot more, and I really just wanted to make it official.”

“Draco…” his girlfriend warned as he began to fiddle with his pocket.

“Hermione Granger, this has been the first holiday that I have looked forward to celebrating for many years. And I know that the only way I will look forward to them is if they are going to be spent with you. Will you please do me the honor of becoming my life long holiday buddy?”

Hermione quirked an eyebrow at his phrasing, not at all sure what he was asking.

“I’m just kidding. Will you marry me, Granger?”

It took her a full moment to catch it, and then she reached over and gave him a soft smack on the arm.

“Draco Malfoy, you are so horrible!” She choked through these odd tears of happiness and anger. She felt even more awkward that it was in front of her parents. “How are you going to use a joke to- to- “

She pulled him close to her, hugging him closely.

“This locket means everything to me. It shows what you are willing to do for me… And I would love to be your life long holiday buddy.”

Draco raised his eyebrow at her as he returned her hug.

“…and yes, I’ll marry you.”

Her mom started applauding from the couch in tears, before jumping up and hugging them both. She couldn’t stop from showing her excitement.

“Now, if you two hurry, you could give me the best Mother’s Day gift!”

Hermione laughed as she looked at her mum, “And just what is that?”

“A Grandbaby!”

Draco and Hermione turned toward each other, and had wide eyes at the thought.

“Gotcha! Merry Christmas, my loves.”

The night ended with Jean and Hermione talking over wedding dates and Draco and Gerard discussed the major differences between soccer and quidditch. Looking around at the little family they created, Hermione felt very cozy. Draco was a hit with everyone and now she could look forward to every Christmas being like this.


End file.
